1 00:00:00,036 --> 00:00:02,087 Hello to you and thank you for the joining of. 2 00:00:02,088 --> 00:00:05,067 You might have been wondering how I've been. I've been OK. 3 00:00:05,068 --> 00:00:07,056 I've literally made new friends. 4 00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:10,071 Introducing Aubery. 5 00:00:10,072 --> 00:00:14,031 And, new, Acquain-quinces! 6 00:00:14,032 --> 00:00:15,079 I don't think I'm weird! 7 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,015 Sorry, it's still a bit raw, emotionally. 8 00:00:18,016 --> 00:00:20,047 I blow up at any time. 9 00:00:20,048 --> 00:00:23,095 I am a human 4x4 - my fleshy vehicle will flatten you! 10 00:00:23,096 --> 00:00:27,096 Oh, can you pull over if you're texting? Or talk! Look around! "LOL." 11 00:00:27,097 --> 00:00:29,999 Meditation classes? No! 12 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,047 I've been coping. 13 00:00:31,048 --> 00:00:33,055 It's not the first time I've had to get over Gary. 14 00:00:33,056 --> 00:00:35,075 Although never for good before. 15 00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:37,091 But I think Mum's been faring worse. 16 00:00:37,092 --> 00:00:39,079 17 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,071 ♪ Cos Grandma... You'll never be a Grandma! ♪ 18 00:00:42,072 --> 00:00:44,044 Oh, the breath! 19 00:00:46,036 --> 00:00:48,039 Better news, Stevie's moved in. 20 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:51,067 I didn't want to be my own. Right choice, cos the other night... 21 00:00:51,068 --> 00:00:55,039 Stevie, I can't get out! Why is it on? 22 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:57,051 I was playing Dolphins. 23 00:00:57,052 --> 00:00:59,059 Could you just, could you cut me out? 24 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:02,055 Yes, come on then. Don't stab me! 25 00:01:02,056 --> 00:01:06,036 So, end of me and Gary, but, to new beginnings. 26 00:01:06,719 --> 00:01:16,781 00:04:51,039 OK! "2. Have Gary's children." Right...I'm just going to skip down. 88 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,047 Erm... "Go travelling...with Gary." 89 00:04:54,048 --> 00:04:57,051 Ah, "Nude model in a life art class!" 90 00:04:57,052 --> 00:04:59,999 Did that! Tick! 91 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,051 "Spend all day having an all-day breakfast." 92 00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:05,048 Tick! 93 00:05:06,084 --> 00:05:09,019 "If I get called 'sir', hit the offender with my bosom." 94 00:05:09,020 --> 00:05:11,027 You didn't? No! 95 00:05:11,028 --> 00:05:12,075 Tick! 96 00:05:12,076 --> 00:05:18,015 There's only one left, "Gallop on a horse on a beach..." 97 00:05:18,016 --> 00:05:20,004 I've always wanted to do that. 98 00:05:21,044 --> 00:05:22,048 "..with Gary." 99 00:05:24,060 --> 00:05:25,080 Find yours. 100 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:29,055 Hello. 101 00:05:29,056 --> 00:05:30,063 Hello? 102 00:05:30,064 --> 00:05:34,027 I just wondered whether you still had those heart-shaped photo frames? 103 00:05:34,028 --> 00:05:38,055 Oh, it's you, fav customer! Yes, we do! 104 00:05:38,056 --> 00:05:40,079 I only want to browse for those. 105 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,020 You just browse. Browse. 106 00:05:44,024 --> 00:05:48,011 She's always been a lovely word - hasn't she? "Browse." 107 00:05:48,012 --> 00:05:51,031 Got it. "Stevie Sutton's Bucket List. 108 00:05:51,032 --> 00:05:52,067 "1. Ice. 109 00:05:52,068 --> 00:05:54,055 "2. Fire. 110 00:05:54,056 --> 00:05:55,075 "3. Sick. 111 00:05:55,076 --> 00:05:57,043 "4...and spade. 112 00:05:57,044 --> 00:05:59,044 "5. Mop and..." 113 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,067 That isn't a bucket list. That's just a list of buckets. 114 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:10,051 It's my bucket list. 115 00:06:10,052 --> 00:06:13,055 I want to make sure that I have got one of each kind, 116 00:06:13,056 --> 00:06:15,075 before I kick the bucket. 117 00:06:15,076 --> 00:06:18,044 Thrilled with that! 118 00:06:21,024 --> 00:06:24,970 I don't know what to say to you, Stevie Sutton esquire. It's ridiculous. 119 00:06:25,012 --> 00:06:28,087 I have to do something significant to get over Gary. 120 00:06:28,088 --> 00:06:33,007 Ah, now, excuse me, customer, do you have a bucket list? 121 00:06:33,008 --> 00:06:36,087 - Oh, dear. You said I could browse. - Give me some examples, please! 122 00:06:36,088 --> 00:06:38,012 Oh, OK, sky diving. 123 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:41,091 Well, I am terrified of flying! Will you think?! 124 00:06:41,092 --> 00:06:43,071 Oh, I know! We should go on the pull. 125 00:06:43,072 --> 00:06:46,003 A bit of rebound distraction. Somewhere upmarket. 126 00:06:46,004 --> 00:06:47,083 Find some non-Garys. 127 00:06:47,084 --> 00:06:50,039 You know - older, sophisticated, classy. 128 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,051 More "me". You, classy? 129 00:06:53,052 --> 00:06:58,011 Um... oh... no! Oh, wow! I thought you were going to... 130 00:06:58,012 --> 00:06:59,083 Are you all right? 131 00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:02,063 Mmm? Yes, no... I'm fine. Yeah! No. That's a great idea! 132 00:07:02,064 --> 00:07:06,024 Basically call Pickfords. I'm moving on. 133 00:07:07,096 --> 00:07:11,087 We've got an idea, no thanks to you. You obviously don't... 134 00:07:11,088 --> 00:07:15,011 ♪ Believe in life after love After love, after love... ♪ 135 00:07:15,012 --> 00:07:17,095 Cher! Fun, yeah! 136 00:07:17,096 --> 00:07:21,023 Tonight I'm going to spruce like Fiona Bruce! 137 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:23,091 I think I'd like to go, please. So, where shall we go then? 138 00:07:23,092 --> 00:07:26,023 I've got a few ideas. There's a wine bar... 139 00:07:26,024 --> 00:07:30,019 Cease verbal fire. Newsflush. Fsshht! 140 00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:33,059 We are a tiddle concerned about La Penny. 141 00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:35,091 She rolled up at the tennis club, v early birdingtons, 142 00:07:35,092 --> 00:07:36,095 for her ladies four, 143 00:07:36,096 --> 00:07:40,011 drinking neat gin out of her mixed doubles prize trophy and... 144 00:07:40,012 --> 00:07:44,072 Insisting - forgive, delicate ladies - and Miranda, what! Haha! 145 00:07:47,004 --> 00:07:50,003 ..insisting the ladies all go commando! 146 00:07:50,004 --> 00:07:51,019 She'll be fine. 147 00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:55,075 Well, what about you, Queen Kong la tragique dumpee? 148 00:07:55,076 --> 00:07:57,023 I'm not a dumpee. 149 00:07:57,024 --> 00:08:00,027 I am a mutual dumper, if you pardon. 150 00:08:00,028 --> 00:08:04,087 No, no. I'm fine. We're going on the pull! 151 00:08:04,088 --> 00:08:08,031 Set co-ordinates for Dumpee Rumpy de pumpy! 152 00:08:08,032 --> 00:08:10,027 There will not be any sex. 153 00:08:10,028 --> 00:08:12,059 What?! What?! Have I got a wasp in my hair? 154 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:14,039 Has the Queen come in? No. 155 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:18,059 Has somebody found somebody quicker than a Kwik-fit fitter? 156 00:08:18,060 --> 00:08:23,067 Calm! You just said "sex". Did I? "Sex". 157 00:08:23,068 --> 00:08:30,019 Oh, yes! Sex! Mmm! SEX! Yes! 158 00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:33,023 Oh, Gosh! Stevie, can we find somewhere else for that stool? 159 00:08:33,024 --> 00:08:34,433 Someone will trip on that. 160 00:08:38,028 --> 00:08:44,007 Kong seems wrong. Things are clearly not Great Winslet. 161 00:08:44,008 --> 00:08:47,091 She's probs obvs totes lovesick. Oh! What are we talking about? 162 00:08:47,092 --> 00:08:50,039 M People! Treadmills! Salty snacks! 163 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,008 Belinda Carlisle. Oh! 164 00:08:56,016 --> 00:08:58,079 Cheers! Cheers! 165 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:04,019 Oooh! It's very swish, isn't it? Yeah! A good word "swish". 166 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:05,091 SWISH! 167 00:09:05,092 --> 00:09:08,059 Hello. Thank you for your lovely nuts! 168 00:09:08,060 --> 00:09:15,095 "Nuts!" Focus. We're seductresses. We're seductressising. 169 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:18,084 We're cocquettes. Cocquettes o' the night! 170 00:09:24,044 --> 00:09:26,024 Ooooh! I've pulled! Hi! 171 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,031 He's waving at the woman behind you! 172 00:09:29,032 --> 00:09:32,023 Oh, I hate that, now I'm doing this! 173 00:09:32,024 --> 00:09:35,007 Turn it into something! 174 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:38,095 Flute miming! 175 00:09:38,096 --> 00:09:41,079 That's just weird! Fit in! 176 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,071 Oooh! 177 00:09:43,072 --> 00:09:46,040 Look at her! So stylish! 178 00:09:48,072 --> 00:09:51,007 Aaaw! 179 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:54,035 The pianist is changing the song for every person that comes in! 180 00:09:54,036 --> 00:09:56,039 I wonder what he'd choose for me? 181 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,068 Oh, good game! Try it, try it! 182 00:10:08,016 --> 00:10:13,059 Oh! Bit o' Britney, I'm thrilled with that! 183 00:10:13,060 --> 00:10:16,064 I'm going to try! You go! You go! 184 00:10:37,084 --> 00:10:41,039 Oh! He just slipped his room key to her! 185 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,039 Oh! They're escorts! 186 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:47,027 All the women are escorts. 187 00:10:47,028 --> 00:10:51,015 Why haven't we been approached? Could we not pass as escorts? 188 00:10:51,016 --> 00:10:53,071 Yes, how offensive! Oh, here we go! 189 00:10:53,072 --> 00:10:56,016 Good evening. 190 00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:01,035 Unacceptable! So unacceptable! 191 00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:03,027 Sorry, hang on! 192 00:11:03,028 --> 00:11:05,079 Excuse me, a little bit of attention! 193 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:08,015 Would anybody like to spend the evening with this? 194 00:11:08,016 --> 00:11:12,023 This little, tarty, fun-sized bag of allure? 195 00:11:12,024 --> 00:11:15,059 Or this, very, very cheap, you get more for your money, 196 00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:20,019 and she'll be so grateful, she'll probably end up paying you. 197 00:11:20,020 --> 00:11:23,027 Either way she'll give you a round of applause with her massive bosoms. 198 00:11:23,028 --> 00:11:26,019 Oh, you're so sweet! De nada. They are massive bosoms. 199 00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,032 Thank you. They do clap! 200 00:11:31,044 --> 00:11:34,080 Let's just go, it's got awkward now. 201 00:11:38,076 --> 00:11:40,072 Rude! 202 00:11:43,012 --> 00:11:45,063 I locked the door! 203 00:11:45,064 --> 00:11:49,071 Come out, or I'll throw my friend at you! 204 00:11:49,072 --> 00:11:52,039 Aaargh! Aaargh! 205 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,075 Aaargh! Aaargh! 206 00:11:53,076 --> 00:11:56,007 Stop! We're in a scream loop. Stop! 207 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:59,039 Mum?! I'm sorry! 208 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:03,095 I know you don't want to me here but I didn't know where else to go. 209 00:12:03,096 --> 00:12:06,079 I think your father and I are over. 210 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:10,003 He hasn't been interested in me for years. 211 00:12:10,004 --> 00:12:12,091 Not even in the bedroom department recently. 212 00:12:12,092 --> 00:12:15,027 Don't need to know everything. 213 00:12:15,028 --> 00:12:18,003 Not even when I dressed up as Margaret Mountford 214 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:20,032 and handcuffed myself to the Teasmade. 215 00:12:22,024 --> 00:12:24,051 Why?! 216 00:12:24,052 --> 00:12:29,047 I married so young. I've never really known who I am! 217 00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:33,067 Oh, Mum, you do realise you don't need a man to define you, don't you? 218 00:12:33,068 --> 00:12:37,003 You know, Stevie, we were so wrong to go on the pull. 219 00:12:37,004 --> 00:12:39,055 Standing on my own two feet is what will get me over Gary. 220 00:12:39,056 --> 00:12:41,055 That's what you need, Mum. 221 00:12:41,056 --> 00:12:45,075 Do you know, I think we should sit happily and proudly upon the shelf. 222 00:12:45,076 --> 00:12:47,008 Yes! 223 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,095 Knockery-noo! 224 00:12:51,096 --> 00:12:54,019 Mummy wants to keep the family tradition 225 00:12:54,020 --> 00:12:57,043 of the groom and father of the bride bare knuckle fighting on wed morn, 226 00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:59,007 and Charlie won't, and is crying. 227 00:12:59,008 --> 00:13:01,083 And now I don't even know that I want to get married any more! 228 00:13:01,084 --> 00:13:05,003 Oh, Tilly, just come and sit on our shelf. Here! 229 00:13:05,004 --> 00:13:09,051 You know, we've never needed men for the fun times before. 230 00:13:09,052 --> 00:13:11,083 Switch it off! 231 00:13:11,084 --> 00:13:13,012 Aaaahh! 232 00:13:16,076 --> 00:13:20,032 We need to look after "our-shelves"! 233 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:26,060 No? 234 00:13:27,064 --> 00:13:31,076 We need to look after "our-shelves"! 235 00:13:33,052 --> 00:13:35,068 No? 236 00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:39,047 Think of all the things you can do without your men 237 00:13:39,048 --> 00:13:42,063 that give you the real freedom to be you! 238 00:13:42,064 --> 00:13:45,999 I've always wanted to ride on a yak in Bhutan. 239 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,060 I've always wanted to go to a car-boot sale! 240 00:13:50,016 --> 00:13:54,028 I always wanted to open my own Build-A-Bear. 241 00:13:57,012 --> 00:14:02,031 What about you, Miranda? You could build that adult bouncy castle. 242 00:14:02,032 --> 00:14:06,039 Too childish. It's "too childish"?! 243 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:09,087 Does anyone else want a snack? I forgot to eat earlier. 244 00:14:09,088 --> 00:14:11,040 You forgot to eat?! 245 00:14:12,092 --> 00:14:15,047 Are you drinking your fruit friends? 246 00:14:15,048 --> 00:14:18,051 Mmm. You're right. She might be losing it. 247 00:14:18,052 --> 00:14:22,079 I've got it! I know what I'm going to do! 248 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,079 Weave! Yes! 249 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:28,051 I'm going to buy a loom and weave. Yeah! 250 00:14:28,052 --> 00:14:32,039 I'm going to get back to basics, weave, bake. 251 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:36,031 None of Gary's savoury muffins. Savoury muffins? 252 00:14:36,032 --> 00:14:39,095 Savoury muffins?! 253 00:14:39,096 --> 00:14:42,019 Weaving! That's it - brilliant! 254 00:14:42,020 --> 00:14:44,087 Oh, come on, let's celebrate being on the shelf. 255 00:14:44,088 --> 00:14:46,092 Fav anthem. Are you ready? 256 00:14:48,056 --> 00:14:51,047 ♪ Sisters are doing it for themselves... ♪ 257 00:14:51,048 --> 00:14:55,079 Yes? Come on! Who needs men?! Go, Mother! 258 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:58,060 Come on, ladies. Get up to get down! 259 00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:05,080 260 00:15:08,016 --> 00:15:11,063 261 00:15:11,064 --> 00:15:15,032 ♪ To celebrate... ♪ 262 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:22,019 Oh, good morning! And nice outfit! 263 00:15:22,020 --> 00:15:23,096 Thanking you! 264 00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:28,047 I'm going to take Gary's stuff back to him. 265 00:15:28,048 --> 00:15:32,999 I am an empowered woman preparing to weave my way back to happiness. 266 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:36,095 Hello! I was just wondered whether you had those frames in blue. 267 00:15:36,096 --> 00:15:40,023 It's for my partner, for our wedding. Well, come in! 268 00:15:40,024 --> 00:15:44,007 - I'd rather not attend. - Just come in! 269 00:15:44,008 --> 00:15:46,091 I'll look for the frames. I'm going to take this back to Gary. 270 00:15:46,092 --> 00:15:49,075 What, in a giraffe onesie? Are you quite mad? 271 00:15:49,076 --> 00:15:51,999 Well, I want him to know I'm over him. 272 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,051 And for him to be over me. 273 00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:56,007 Cos if I wore something nice, he'd fancy me, wouldn't he? 274 00:15:56,008 --> 00:16:00,016 In fact, could you just check, could this be sexy? 275 00:16:04,068 --> 00:16:06,087 It's already getting complicated. 276 00:16:06,088 --> 00:16:12,011 It's not complicated. It's a simple question. Is this sexy? 277 00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:15,091 I'm gay, but I'd say probably not. And I don't want to smell nice. 278 00:16:15,092 --> 00:16:18,059 She once deodorised with a rotten pear. 279 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,051 It was dark and it felt like a roll-on. 280 00:16:20,052 --> 00:16:22,999 So, in fact, could you smell me? I don't want to. 281 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,015 Just smell me, please! 282 00:16:24,016 --> 00:16:27,019 I should never have come in here again! Every time! 283 00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:29,007 Don't worry, Stevie, I've got a new friend. 284 00:16:29,008 --> 00:16:31,051 Who are you? I don't know! 285 00:16:31,052 --> 00:16:34,015 Love oo! Love oo! Love oo! No! 286 00:16:34,016 --> 00:16:36,003 Oh! That's my mother! 287 00:16:36,004 --> 00:16:37,087 Oh, heavens above! That's Mike! 288 00:16:37,088 --> 00:16:39,083 This is a nightmare! That's Gary! 289 00:16:39,084 --> 00:16:41,076 Why does it keep happening? Aargh! 290 00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:48,075 It's musky, sort of digestive biscuit, with a hint of brie. 291 00:16:48,076 --> 00:16:51,031 So you're going to see Gary for the first time, 292 00:16:51,032 --> 00:16:53,071 smelling of musky digestive biscuit, 293 00:16:53,072 --> 00:16:57,023 in a giraffe onesie that makes you look like a mahossive loon. 294 00:16:57,024 --> 00:16:58,095 Yes, I am! 295 00:16:58,096 --> 00:17:01,064 I like the weird walk, very off-putting. 296 00:17:03,024 --> 00:17:04,096 That was my walk. 297 00:17:09,068 --> 00:17:11,076 Well, now I don't know how to walk. 298 00:17:13,020 --> 00:17:15,008 Don't worry! I've got it. 299 00:17:18,092 --> 00:17:21,023 Goat's cheese and beetroot salad? Right, why? 300 00:17:21,024 --> 00:17:23,036 I'm just not a big fan of goats. Hello? 301 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:28,055 Oh, hi. Sorry, didn't see you there. 302 00:17:28,056 --> 00:17:31,011 Just brought your stuff back - I texted. 303 00:17:31,012 --> 00:17:33,056 Yes, sorry, I've just been busy. Yes. 304 00:17:34,068 --> 00:17:36,999 Hi, Jacinta. Great outfit. 305 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,007 It's so comfortable I don't care. Good for you. 306 00:17:40,008 --> 00:17:41,023 Can I get you something? 307 00:17:41,024 --> 00:17:45,051 Do you want a muffin? He's just made them. Butternut squash. 308 00:17:45,052 --> 00:17:47,011 So delish. 309 00:17:47,012 --> 00:17:49,011 No, thank you. 310 00:17:49,012 --> 00:17:52,040 I'm glad the savoury muffin has found a happy customer. 311 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,999 Right, well, there are your things. 312 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,091 I wanted to say, we did the right thing. 313 00:17:59,092 --> 00:18:03,003 Yes, I think we did. We can still be friends, right? 314 00:18:03,004 --> 00:18:04,028 I think so. In time. 315 00:18:07,032 --> 00:18:09,024 I'm off to buy a loom. 316 00:18:10,032 --> 00:18:11,072 What? 317 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,080 Nothing. 318 00:18:18,032 --> 00:18:20,004 See you. 319 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:27,019 Stevie, why's the shop closed? I am with loom. 320 00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:30,035 Don't trap me with your loom! Oh, yes, careful. 321 00:18:30,036 --> 00:18:32,075 As us weavers like to say, 322 00:18:32,076 --> 00:18:38,075 "You can weave the loom or you can leave the room!" 323 00:18:38,076 --> 00:18:42,011 Funny! What? 324 00:18:42,012 --> 00:18:44,039 Miranda. Have a seat. 325 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,015 You! Mum, what's a therapist doing here? 326 00:18:48,016 --> 00:18:49,091 What are you all doing? 327 00:18:49,092 --> 00:18:54,071 I was anxious about revisiting this after our last session. 328 00:18:54,072 --> 00:18:59,063 For months after, I suffered a long battle with an intimate skin rash. 329 00:18:59,064 --> 00:19:01,095 Overshare. 330 00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:04,015 But when your friends and family got in touch... 331 00:19:04,016 --> 00:19:06,079 Hang on, is this an intervention? 332 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,071 Oh, guys! Seriously. I'm fine. 333 00:19:08,072 --> 00:19:12,039 You're wearing a giraffe onesie carrying a loom. 334 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:14,999 Yes, I see that looks a little mad but... I mean... 335 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,011 Before we hear from you, I'd like to give everyone an opportunity 336 00:19:18,012 --> 00:19:19,067 to express their concern. 337 00:19:19,068 --> 00:19:22,008 Who would like to go first? 338 00:19:24,024 --> 00:19:26,079 Thank you very much 339 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:29,039 ♪ I need somebody with a human touch... ♪ 340 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,059 Everybody! 341 00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:36,087 Well, this is just jollying, not, not madness! 342 00:19:36,088 --> 00:19:38,091 Right, let's start. 343 00:19:38,092 --> 00:19:41,028 Erm, you in the distance there. 344 00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:45,004 Sorry, just small. 345 00:19:46,048 --> 00:19:48,019 Start us off. 346 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:53,019 I'm worried that Miranda's depressed since her split from Gary. 347 00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:56,072 For starters, she stopped herself pushing me off my stool. 348 00:19:59,036 --> 00:20:03,011 Only because she might hurt herself! But she found it totes hilaire! 349 00:20:03,012 --> 00:20:04,056 Go! 350 00:20:09,016 --> 00:20:12,015 England's number one sex goddess! 351 00:20:12,016 --> 00:20:14,083 All I want to say is, Your Honour, 352 00:20:14,084 --> 00:20:18,087 that despite my worries, I mean, she is still a child. 353 00:20:18,088 --> 00:20:21,039 We are concerned she might be depressed. 354 00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:24,071 She said that a bouncy castle was too childish! 355 00:20:24,072 --> 00:20:26,083 Oh, hang on, you know, Your Honour, 356 00:20:26,084 --> 00:20:29,055 I am a child, I'm not a child, she's at sixes and sevens. 357 00:20:29,056 --> 00:20:33,999 Question. 358 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:38,023 "Sixes and sevens." What's the origin of that expression? 359 00:20:38,024 --> 00:20:40,003 Answer: not important now! 360 00:20:40,004 --> 00:20:42,079 And Mum, I think you're scared I'll grow up 361 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,080 cos then you won't have a project to distract from your marriage. 362 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:50,031 Quiet! 363 00:20:50,032 --> 00:20:53,091 The thing is, that Pen Pen and Kong Kong are actually v close. 364 00:20:53,092 --> 00:20:55,047 Best behaviour! 365 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,008 Oh-ho-ho! 366 00:21:01,088 --> 00:21:03,052 Psst! 367 00:21:05,036 --> 00:21:06,092 Go, Miranda! 368 00:21:08,044 --> 00:21:09,067 But Ryan Sozling, 369 00:21:09,068 --> 00:21:12,075 I have dos factos buffering on the download 370 00:21:12,076 --> 00:21:15,071 about Queen of the Kong that are franks tarantulating. 371 00:21:15,072 --> 00:21:17,035 Sorry, is this English? 372 00:21:17,036 --> 00:21:20,043 Tarantulas? Terrifying. Basic. Keep up! 373 00:21:20,044 --> 00:21:21,087 Facto uno, 374 00:21:21,088 --> 00:21:26,055 first sign of Madnessa Redgrave she utterroonied the word "sex"! 375 00:21:26,056 --> 00:21:29,047 - Is that unusual? - Yes! 376 00:21:29,048 --> 00:21:33,071 Second sign of dementulation: she said she forgot to eat supper. 377 00:21:33,072 --> 00:21:36,011 - And is that unusual? - Yes! 378 00:21:36,012 --> 00:21:39,063 Tilly-Billy-Bots said that she imbibed her fruit friends. 379 00:21:39,064 --> 00:21:41,015 Though not Aubrey. 380 00:21:41,016 --> 00:21:44,011 Oh, come on! Fruit friends are not normal 381 00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:46,091 and an aubergine in a fruit smoothie - that would be disgusting. 382 00:21:46,092 --> 00:21:48,031 It's not madness! 383 00:21:48,032 --> 00:21:50,047 And the giraffe onesie? 384 00:21:50,048 --> 00:21:51,091 Well, she is wearing it 385 00:21:51,092 --> 00:21:55,087 thinking that Gary might find her attractive in anything else. 386 00:21:55,088 --> 00:21:57,059 Which A) I think is a bold claim, 387 00:21:57,060 --> 00:22:02,007 and 2) It means... Letters or numbers! 388 00:22:02,008 --> 00:22:05,031 ..she's not giving herself the option of getting back with him. 389 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:06,999 Now, if any couple... 390 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,051 They are guacamole and.. ..Doritos. 391 00:22:09,052 --> 00:22:11,063 They just go. 392 00:22:11,064 --> 00:22:13,023 I'm the new chef. 393 00:22:13,024 --> 00:22:15,003 Mm! Wow! 394 00:22:15,004 --> 00:22:18,048 ♪ I love you just the way you are... ♪ 395 00:22:21,056 --> 00:22:23,088 Miranda, just a quick one. Yes, please! 396 00:22:27,084 --> 00:22:30,999 What truly makes your heart skip? Gary. 397 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,059 I'm in love with Gary! 398 00:22:32,060 --> 00:22:35,091 399 00:22:35,092 --> 00:22:38,080 ♪ I promise you... ♪ 400 00:22:47,036 --> 00:22:50,080 I think I preferred the old you anyway. Come here! 401 00:22:53,060 --> 00:22:55,055 Me and Gary are not going to happen. 402 00:22:55,056 --> 00:22:59,999 I'm finally doing things for me, without the need of approval. 403 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,043 And C) Re: the outfit.. Back to letters! 404 00:23:02,044 --> 00:23:05,087 ..she made a customer sniff her to check she didn't smell sexy! 405 00:23:05,088 --> 00:23:08,043 I mean, it's true, isn't it? 406 00:23:08,044 --> 00:23:10,052 I don't know why I'm here. 407 00:23:17,028 --> 00:23:19,019 Sorry, who is he? 408 00:23:19,020 --> 00:23:21,007 We don't know. 409 00:23:21,008 --> 00:23:25,071 We've never known. But what I do know is this, 410 00:23:25,072 --> 00:23:29,043 since I split up with Gary, I've finally worked out who I am. 411 00:23:29,044 --> 00:23:31,051 There may be no more pushing off the stool, 412 00:23:31,052 --> 00:23:33,023 or no more fruit friends, 413 00:23:33,024 --> 00:23:35,091 but I'll always gallop with gay abandon, 414 00:23:35,092 --> 00:23:38,999 and I'll always find a euphemism in anything, 415 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,019 I'll always sing if someone inadvertently speaks song lyrics 416 00:23:42,020 --> 00:23:46,031 and I'll always love the word "plunge". 417 00:23:46,032 --> 00:23:48,019 And that is not being a child, 418 00:23:48,020 --> 00:23:50,048 but sometimes the world needs to be jollied. 419 00:23:51,048 --> 00:23:52,083 Now, if you'll excuse me, 420 00:23:52,084 --> 00:23:55,043 I've arranged to tick a bucket list entry off. 421 00:23:55,044 --> 00:23:57,039 No, don't...! 422 00:23:57,040 --> 00:24:00,015 Oh, I've got clothes on underneath! Pas de panique! 423 00:24:00,016 --> 00:24:03,019 Oh, and Stevie, as for saying that Gary might find me attractive 424 00:24:03,020 --> 00:24:04,083 being a bold claim, 425 00:24:04,084 --> 00:24:07,083 well, I've also realised that women like me can be sexy, 426 00:24:07,084 --> 00:24:10,075 it's just the world might never affirm it 427 00:24:10,076 --> 00:24:13,080 so it just takes us a little longer to realise it. 428 00:24:15,044 --> 00:24:17,016 Now if you'll excuse me. 429 00:24:19,036 --> 00:24:21,031 Is it all right to leave? Oh, no, go. 430 00:24:21,032 --> 00:24:23,063 431 00:24:23,064 --> 00:24:25,023 432 00:24:25,024 --> 00:24:27,071 433 00:24:27,072 --> 00:24:30,023 hurt me with goodbye? 434 00:24:30,024 --> 00:24:32,051 435 00:24:32,052 --> 00:24:37,051 Oh, no, not I 436 00:24:37,052 --> 00:24:38,084 ♪ I will survive... ♪ 437 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,075 Now, this is a very important moment in my life, OK? 438 00:24:43,076 --> 00:24:48,063 So don't throw me off or anything. All right? I'm a fellow galloper. 439 00:24:48,064 --> 00:24:50,092 This time, you're doing the galloping. 440 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:55,063 Right, let's do this... 441 00:24:55,064 --> 00:24:57,084 Walk on. 442 00:25:16,008 --> 00:25:18,000 I'm free! 443 00:25:26,096 --> 00:25:29,019 Apology breakfast goods, m'lud. 444 00:25:29,020 --> 00:25:32,035 Please munch upon my apologetic brioche. 445 00:25:32,036 --> 00:25:34,051 I'm so soz about yesterday. Got you a pastry. 446 00:25:34,052 --> 00:25:37,023 Oh, I've already got... That's lovely! 447 00:25:37,024 --> 00:25:40,003 So how was the horse riding, without Gary? 448 00:25:40,004 --> 00:25:43,003 It was amazing, I didn't need him there. 449 00:25:43,004 --> 00:25:46,015 - I don't even want to tell him. - Oooh! 450 00:25:46,016 --> 00:25:48,047 Well, for what it's worth-ers original, 451 00:25:48,048 --> 00:25:51,003 I think you've felt more you not cos of Gary 452 00:25:51,004 --> 00:25:53,999 but cos you told Penny to get out of your life. 453 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,059 Massively brave. I did, didn't I? 454 00:25:56,060 --> 00:25:59,091 Well, I have to tell Gary that. What?! 455 00:25:59,092 --> 00:26:02,087 Well, I have to tell him I stood up to Mum. He would be so... proud. 456 00:26:02,088 --> 00:26:06,027 Oh, my goodness, you're right, Tilly, 457 00:26:06,028 --> 00:26:08,083 I can be more me because I've outgrown Mum. 458 00:26:08,084 --> 00:26:10,060 I don't need Gary. 459 00:26:12,084 --> 00:26:14,095 But I want him. 460 00:26:14,096 --> 00:26:16,051 I do, I want him so much. 461 00:26:16,052 --> 00:26:20,063 I don't want to do my life without Gary. 462 00:26:20,064 --> 00:26:22,075 Oh my goodness! 463 00:26:22,076 --> 00:26:26,051 You've got to tell him! It might not be too late! 464 00:26:26,052 --> 00:26:28,999 Ah! I've got to dasherooh, I've got a wedding! 465 00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,087 With Prince Harry, Miranda! Go get him! 466 00:26:31,088 --> 00:26:34,063 Thank you, Tilly, thank you! 467 00:26:34,064 --> 00:26:36,075 Oh! You've got to get Gary! 468 00:26:36,076 --> 00:26:39,051 Where am I going to live? No, that's not important now, no! 469 00:26:39,052 --> 00:26:41,051 OK, well, ring him. 470 00:26:41,052 --> 00:26:43,087 I'm going to change, I've got to look nice this time. 471 00:26:43,088 --> 00:26:47,059 Ah, just go, go! Oh, it's straight to voicemail. 472 00:26:47,060 --> 00:26:49,044 Well, ring the restaurant. 473 00:26:50,092 --> 00:26:54,015 Hey, is Gary there? Stevie, Stevie, which one? 474 00:26:54,016 --> 00:26:56,083 That one. Gorgeous. 475 00:26:56,084 --> 00:26:58,047 Or Jacinta? 476 00:26:58,048 --> 00:27:02,091 What?! What? Where is he, where is he? 477 00:27:02,092 --> 00:27:05,051 He said Gary was at... his wedding? 478 00:27:05,052 --> 00:27:08,067 What? Was Jacinta there? No. 479 00:27:08,068 --> 00:27:12,044 He's marrying Jacinta! 480 00:27:13,056 --> 00:27:16,067 I knew it. She liked his savoury muffins. 481 00:27:16,068 --> 00:27:18,015 Classic rebound wedding. 482 00:27:18,016 --> 00:27:21,007 I mean, I get it, she's pretty, she's funny, she's sweet... 483 00:27:21,008 --> 00:27:23,999 Oh, stop talking about Jacinta! He said it was at Tewkesbury. 484 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,091 We'll have to drive down. 485 00:27:25,092 --> 00:27:28,043 Tewkesbury - I can't believe this! 486 00:27:28,044 --> 00:27:30,999 Why are you down here again? I don't know! 487 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,087 I'm running up and down those stairs like a terrified butler. 488 00:27:33,088 --> 00:27:36,091 Come on, we need to get the car. Right, I'll get my driving shoes! 489 00:27:36,092 --> 00:27:39,056 Driving shoes? You're not 97?! 490 00:27:43,060 --> 00:27:45,051 And my lumber support cushion. 491 00:27:45,052 --> 00:27:48,055 Right, shall we just order the walk-in bath now or...? 492 00:27:48,056 --> 00:27:51,043 I have a spasm-y glute! Miranda! 493 00:27:51,044 --> 00:27:53,043 Stop faffing and get upstairs! 494 00:27:53,044 --> 00:27:56,023 You need to make yourself look young and fabulous 495 00:27:56,024 --> 00:27:59,000 because you've got a wedding to stop! 496 00:28:01,056 --> 00:28:03,092 I have got a wedding to stop! 497 00:28:04,096 --> 00:28:07,072 Oh, Gary! 498 00:28:10,024 --> 00:28:12,028 Head for the M4! I'll set up the Sat Nav. Go! 499 00:28:15,068 --> 00:28:18,063 No! 500 00:28:18,064 --> 00:28:21,007 Flirt! Use the allure! 501 00:28:21,008 --> 00:28:23,023 Hello, lovely man! 502 00:28:23,024 --> 00:28:26,063 Could you switch to "Go" for a damsel in distress? 503 00:28:26,064 --> 00:28:28,028 Just twist your stick! 504 00:28:29,052 --> 00:28:32,015 She's got to stop the love of her life... 505 00:28:32,016 --> 00:28:37,035 Twist your stick! Twist it to go! Just twist your stick! 506 00:28:37,036 --> 00:28:41,071 Twist your stick! Twist your stick! Oh! 507 00:28:41,072 --> 00:28:47,019 Twist your stick! Will you twist your stick?! Twist it! 508 00:28:47,020 --> 00:28:50,007 Will you twist your stick?! 509 00:28:50,008 --> 00:28:52,091 Go on, Miranda! Go on! 510 00:28:52,092 --> 00:28:55,047 Twist your stick, please! Just twist! 511 00:28:55,048 --> 00:28:57,999 Twist his stick! 512 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,036 He's twisted his stick! 513 00:29:01,064 --> 00:29:04,011 Let's go! Yay! 514 00:29:04,012 --> 00:29:07,043 'Turn around as soon as possible.' 515 00:29:07,044 --> 00:29:10,047 Why's she saying that? Shut up as soon as possible! 516 00:29:10,048 --> 00:29:12,071 Oh, oh, oh, it's Tewkesbury Hall, not Tewkesbury! 517 00:29:12,072 --> 00:29:16,023 What?! That's just around the corner from the shop! 518 00:29:16,024 --> 00:29:18,047 'Turn around as soon as possible.' 519 00:29:18,048 --> 00:29:21,063 Oh, shut up, you smug arse! What are you going to do? 520 00:29:21,064 --> 00:29:23,028 This. Hold on. 521 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,023 Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! 522 00:29:30,024 --> 00:29:36,003 We're actually police. Nee-naw, nee-naw! Bye! 523 00:29:36,004 --> 00:29:39,011 Go, Louise. Love you, Thelma! 524 00:29:39,012 --> 00:29:41,055 No! 525 00:29:41,056 --> 00:29:45,059 Pull over, pull over. Get out! What?! Why?! 526 00:29:45,060 --> 00:29:48,011 It could be starting any minute! 527 00:29:48,012 --> 00:29:51,067 You'll have to run there! Run?! There isn't time to gallop! 528 00:29:51,068 --> 00:29:55,023 For Gary! Wait, it's moving, it's moving! 529 00:29:55,024 --> 00:29:59,071 Oh! The car has been clamped because it is in a double yellow restricted zone. 530 00:29:59,072 --> 00:30:02,060 You have never been so attractive. 531 00:30:04,056 --> 00:30:05,083 All very lovely! 532 00:30:05,084 --> 00:30:08,031 You have to stay with your vehicle, madam. 533 00:30:08,032 --> 00:30:10,055 Sorry, I am throwing caution to the wind 534 00:30:10,056 --> 00:30:13,043 and there will be wind, for I am running! 535 00:30:13,044 --> 00:30:16,004 Gary! 536 00:30:18,004 --> 00:30:20,095 It's my great pleasure to pronounce you... 537 00:30:20,096 --> 00:30:23,011 No. No! 538 00:30:23,012 --> 00:30:25,075 No! 539 00:30:25,076 --> 00:30:28,051 Do not pronounce! Please! 540 00:30:28,052 --> 00:30:30,051 Don't get married. 541 00:30:30,052 --> 00:30:33,095 I'm not. I'm the best man. 542 00:30:33,096 --> 00:30:35,063 To who? 543 00:30:35,064 --> 00:30:40,011 I can't believe this! To him?! 544 00:30:40,012 --> 00:30:41,079 No, to me! 545 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:46,072 Clive! Oh, my God! You two?! That's fabulous. 546 00:30:48,016 --> 00:30:51,011 I have to speak to Gary. 547 00:30:51,012 --> 00:30:54,031 Uh, sorry, one second! Sorry! 548 00:30:54,032 --> 00:30:58,047 No, no, shush. No, I need to speak to you. 549 00:30:58,048 --> 00:30:59,075 What? 550 00:30:59,076 --> 00:31:03,071 I was going to come and find you because... 551 00:31:03,072 --> 00:31:06,023 I bought these this morning. 552 00:31:06,024 --> 00:31:08,055 Tickets to Wick. 553 00:31:08,056 --> 00:31:12,044 Will you elope with me? Just us. 554 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:19,044 Because I've realised I don't want to be without you. 555 00:31:22,004 --> 00:31:23,084 I love you, Miranda. 556 00:31:30,012 --> 00:31:31,087 This is my wedding! 557 00:31:31,088 --> 00:31:34,048 Sssh! 558 00:31:39,052 --> 00:31:43,056 I don't need to elope, it can be on my own terms. 559 00:31:48,032 --> 00:31:50,075 You have these. 560 00:31:50,076 --> 00:31:52,075 Be free of your mother. 561 00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:55,015 I bloody love Wick! 562 00:31:55,016 --> 00:31:57,076 I bloody love you. And you. 563 00:32:02,064 --> 00:32:05,027 Right, can you marry us now? 564 00:32:05,028 --> 00:32:08,067 I could do, yes, but there's another service in here now. 565 00:32:08,068 --> 00:32:11,031 Have it at the restaurant. That's my reception! 566 00:32:11,032 --> 00:32:13,051 Sssh! 567 00:32:13,052 --> 00:32:15,051 Shall we? 568 00:32:15,052 --> 00:32:17,012 Gallop! 569 00:32:57,024 --> 00:33:00,027 And I promise to only ever make sweet muffins, 570 00:33:00,028 --> 00:33:04,087 and to remind you to always be yourself, 571 00:33:04,088 --> 00:33:08,003 because in the words of your favourite singer, Billy Joel, 572 00:33:08,004 --> 00:33:11,055 I love you just the way are. 573 00:33:11,056 --> 00:33:13,055 Oh, I forgot one, sorry. 574 00:33:13,056 --> 00:33:16,095 I promise never to laugh at your fear of geese. 575 00:33:16,096 --> 00:33:21,039 Oh, oh, oh, and I promise always to enjoy hotel rooms to the max! 576 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,072 Good! And to teach our children to never stop galloping. 577 00:33:25,080 --> 00:33:29,027 - Have you finished? - Yes! 578 00:33:29,028 --> 00:33:33,051 Well, they're certainly the most unusual vows I have ever heard, 579 00:33:33,052 --> 00:33:35,064 I now pronounce you husband and wife. 580 00:33:40,076 --> 00:33:43,076 Pinch me! 581 00:33:45,056 --> 00:33:48,003 Go, Heather! 582 00:33:48,004 --> 00:33:51,999 ♪ What have you done today to make you feel proud? ♪ 583 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,079 Got married! 584 00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,071 Go, Gary! 585 00:33:56,072 --> 00:34:00,027 586 00:34:00,028 --> 00:34:04,047 587 00:34:04,048 --> 00:34:08,039 ♪ Before it all ends... ♪ 588 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,059 I'm sorry I was overbearing. 589 00:34:11,060 --> 00:34:14,060 I'm going to sort myself out, on a yak. 590 00:34:17,084 --> 00:34:19,087 I love you. 591 00:34:19,088 --> 00:34:21,067 I love you too. 592 00:34:21,068 --> 00:34:23,096 I've just got to say goodbye to someone. 593 00:34:25,052 --> 00:34:26,392 Dearest chums. 594 00:34:26,412 --> 00:34:30,367 I don't know when or if we'll see each other again. 595 00:34:30,368 --> 00:34:35,665 But, just thank you, for being the most amazing friends. 596 00:34:36,302 --> 00:34:38,000 Love you. 597 00:35:07,227 --> 00:35:40,245